LOST AND FORGOTTEN: Russell St Cinemas

Before your mind begins to wander down a dark path; no, I'm not referring to the recently opened 4-D cinema on Russell street. That mystic-emporium of sensory abuse is a whole other ball game.

Sadly, this piece of under-loved Melbourne history was demolished just in time to fuck things up for MIFF in 2013. If you're a Melbourne film lover, you probably ended up at this ageing, dilapidated theatre as a result having no other options, or, to find a nice and quiet place to get away with illegal dealings. When I was around five years old, I was taken by my Dad to see 'The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas' (review pending). The over-sized character cup of Dino gathered dust at the back of our cupboard all through the 2000s.

When my friends and I hit the awkward era, Russell st became the place to go when trying to get into an MA15+ film. In retrospect, that was a much bigger issue in my life then it should have been. A few days before its release, the Greater Union began to play Fincher's adaption of 'Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'. Having absolutely no idea what we were walking into, Kii (site writer) and I sat in the middle of the first ground-floor cinema, innocent as anything. The cinema was empty, and still housed fold-down flat-seated vinyl chairs. The popcorn was terrible. The staff were mostly 17 year old stoners. It reminded me of the cinema that the cop and the informant would sit two rows apart, caps down, and trade secrets.

As our curiosity got the better of us, we watched on in horror, as a man that looked a whole lot like Hagrid did unspeakable things to Rooney Mara. If our sneak-in trip to The Greater Union hadn't already left it's mark, it took some further steps to maintain it's memorability. A green sign that read 'EXIT' seemed like a good option for exiting the cinema. On the other side of that door, was a full blown two-car garage. It felt like we'd walked straight out of a Fincher film, straight into... well, a Fincher film. Everything was layered with a thick air of dirt. There were chains lying around. A small, laminated card read 'EXIT HERE'. Under the card, was a button to open the roller door. So we did... and just like that little shit Edmund in Narnia, we exited straight into a random alley in the CBD.

I never turned back.

Well, I guess I did turn back. I tried to avoid the Russell st cinema as often as I could, but this particular church of art kept calling me back. In its own way, it was like the much, much less prestigious junkie-cousin of The Astor. Except, it had absolutely none of the draw-cards that the St.Kilda theatre holds.

I still wish that I'd returned in its final days, to collect some sort of token. Whether it be an old, dry popcorn kernel, or a piece of miscellaneous chair material.

This one will be missed. Maybe not by you, but certainly by pensioners and drug dealers.

I hear it was alright during MIFF.

What do you guys think? Do you miss the Russell st cinemas? Let us know at paperclipnews@gmail.com