OPINION: BEST HOYTS CINEMA: Victoria Gardens

When I was three, I moved from Sydney to Melbourne. I’ve stayed local to Hawthorn, Kew, Richmond ever since. As a result, I ended up spending heaps of time at Victoria Gardens during my childhood/early adulthood.

You know that one cinema you always try and drag your mates to, just because it’s so conveniently close? That was always Vic Gardens’ HOYTS for me. So far, I think I’ve seen The Force Awakens 14 times just in the one cinema.

Simply put, it’s the cleanest, friendliest and smoothest-running cinema-chain location in Melbourne. I’d say I see about 90% of films here. Out of the solid 10 years worth of trips to this place, I’ve noticed a few things.

1) The staff is extremely generous with both their time and assistance. I’ve never had an unpleasant encounter with anyone behind the desk, or candy bar.

2) There’s only ever been one technical issue in session I’ve been to. It was during Zootopia, and everyone was updated and compensated in the calmest, most amazing manner. I’ve sat in on hundreds of sessions, maybe in the early thousands. It’s an absolute miracle. I don’t know what projection gods are looking over these guys, but they should stick around.

3) Popcorn just tastes better here. It’s one of those superstitious things, but it’s strangely true.

4) The one thing I always felt worked better at say, the Chadstone branch, was the Lux (previously La Premiere) suites. However, in the past year - 6 months, the Lux cinemas at Victoria Gardens have expanded. They're now the best in the state, without a doubt. I went to see The Force Awakens here for the 10th time, and ordered this thing called a Maltesers Chocolate Brownie Sundae. The thing was f*cking enormous. In the best way. They’ve now got their own dedicated screens, so you have other options rather than usual back-of-the-cinema segregation. The seats are comfortable, and everything feels clean and immediate.

5) Their digital projection technology, and sound gear is constantly up to standard. Unlike some of their uh, ‘competitors’, I’ve always been impressed by the level of quality that they’re achieving. Sure; IMAX, The Astor, The Lido all have amazing perks. However, they’re all working in a niche. If it’s Friday night (or any night, really), and you want to have a really relaxed, casual night at the movies, Victoria Gardens is your best option, without a doubt.

6) There’s NO weird miscellaneous sticky shit all over the floor and the candy bar. That’s enough for me.

Hoyts Victoria Gardens is the prime example of what a big-chain branch should feel like. It’s working to the highest level of quality.

What do you guys think of my pick? What are your favorite cinemas in Melbourne? Let us know if you end up at Vic Gardens! Email us at paperclipnews@gmail.com